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I’ve been feeling quite off recently and this is what i did.

Recently I’ve been feeling quite off. May be for more than a few months. I thought that’s because of my work. Though I did a solo journey across India, some kind of stress was always up there on my head like extra weight. Maybe the extra weight pulled down some hair too. So, I knew this wasn’t the same “me” who was a year ago. After I returned home, I wanted to do a lot of things. Productively. But, I wasn’t able to do so, though I was working every day. I felt something was wrong with me. My friends were saying that I’m working too much, but it never made me feel enough. So, I did more. But, slowly started losing the spark for the job (film-making) I’m doing. I haven’t talked about this to anyone; feeling that it might be a shame. I even feared that this feeling might sustain for a longer period. At one point I thought I’ve gotta back off from everything. And so I did. I quit the channel in which I was working on a mutual basis. And so my boys did the same. They quit too. My words look so generic right now, it’s been quite a while since I've written something. Now I understand that I was consuming too much things in head and never let it out in words or expression. I’ve always been that guy who was always aware of myself. I used to be that guy who would meditate for an average 45 minutes, yoga and books. Books! And so while searching for something else I came across the word “Brain Fog”. That's when it hit me hard that I'm brain fogged. This is the first time I’m going through such a phase so deeply. I’d say ‘so deeply’ because I had great control over my mind, but then, this flipped me upside down. And I can feel it. So about the brain fog. It's a complex topic that goes deeper than we all think. But, simplifying it; it talks about biology, psychology, diet, emotional well-being, lifestyle and so on. Again it's absurd to point at every topic over here. Well then, thinking about it for some time in the sub-topics gives us the answer. ‘Information Fatigue’. Yes, We all are going through 1000s of auditory and visual information; every day, every week throughout the year. The funniest realization was, I was trying to increase the speed of information that I was absorbing. So many topics that are not even connected; I scroll through daily and get click baited. There’s so much information the moment we wake up and it's getting noisier. Just watching a 10-minute video in a day is fine. What about 3-4 hours a day? We aren’t realizing that if it continues it’ll turn incredibly destructive. Whereas it turned out the same for me and I sensed it early. Luckily! Or maybe not. Who knows, I would start scrolling through the web after an hour I post this. In reality, I was chasing entertainment, some kind of motivation to do something big, the truth is that I didn't need any more of that. But, sometimes I feel like it doesn’t feel productive to sleep for some extra time at noon or after work, so I tend to do an extra task in the name of productivity. This wasn’t needed anymore. I needed to slow things down. I felt it’s needed because the things which I used to love to do wasn’t giving me happiness like before. I thought its normal and okay and kept doing the same and feeling the same. But, only after some time realized that we won't get a different result with the same activity. So, I changed it. I took rest. True rest. I didn’t hear any music or watched a movie while resting, I kept my phone and books away. Kind of a dopamine fast. Bought a whiteboard and scribbled, didn’t write. Felt like something was getting better. There’s no replacement for rest and space that we used to have before in the pre-internet age. I’m not blaming the internet, we are all really blessed to have such an incredible tool at our disposal. The fact is, we are the ones who are overloading the brain with the information. Excess information. Isn’t this enough?

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